An Oldie, But a Goodie

Possible CVA my ambulance is due.  OK, look up the address, cross street, note that ALS is not available, tell new guy I'll drive, and we're off.  New guy and I get along pretty well.  He can't stop asking questions whenever he is with another human being but as an adjunct instructor for the community college where he is paying to take his EMT/Paramedic/LPN/RN/MD I feel obligated to give him well thought out and correct answers.  OK he's only getting his EMT there but because of all the questions it seems like he is studying for his nursing boards or medical degree.

Why are we going this way?  Because there are designated emergency corridors we use when we respond.
Why don't we use the lights and siren?  Because it's Sunday and I don't want to cause ten "Sunday Driver" accidents on the way to our nothing call.
How can you be sure about the call?  Well statistically 75% of ALS calls don't merit ALS.  50% of BLS calls could safely be driven to the doctor's office for an appointment tomorrow.  Oh, and I hauled this patient's mom from the same address about a dozen times.
On Scene.
"Hi, I'm Newly Minted EMT can I help you?"  I secretly wish, just for a whimsical moment, that I still had the deep caring attitude of my partner.  But I also place a mental side bet that within six, no three months we'll have him working on the dark side with the rest of us.  Let the games begin!
"It's my son, he had a stroke and can't move his right side. OPQRST.  Patient blinks and stares as mom answers questions.  Other reviews that I really don't pay much attention to, something's not right here.  Mouth doesn't droop, no drooling, follows us with eyes where ever we go.  Hmmmmmm.

OK now my OPQRST, Opportunity to Preempt or Quit Resultant Stroke Treatment.
OK Newly Minted, let's load him.  "Yes, we need to get him to the hospital."  Cue crying by mom.  Haul patient out to ambulance.  Get his oxygen ready and I will start filling out paperwork.  Cue odd look by Newly Minted.  He already knows I hate all paperwork.  Catching on? Nah, not yet.

Me to Newly, OK this Medical Assistance paperwork, I think I have it all filled out.  Now in order for the patient to not be billed they have to sign for the trip right?  I cut off his answer and say Mr. Patient, can you sign here?  Mr. Patient grabs pen, signs name, and lays back down.  Oh, did I forget to say that he is obviously right handed?  As I thank him and move to get out of the back of the ambulance I note the extra bright 200 watt light bulb that just lit up above Newly's head.  Yeah, he got it now.

I think I heard him curse under his breath as he was filling out page two of the narrative...I't's going to be a shorter walk to the dark side.